This is my first blog entry on Homo Climbtastic, so I’ll take this opportunity to introduce myself. I’m Connor, and I climb gay rocks, er, um, I’m a gay cock climber, damn, I’m a gay rock climber, there, nailed it. I’m other things too, which is why I’ve always had a hard time with labels. So in reality, I’m just Connor, and you can call me anything you like (but people usually stick to Connor, because I’m also a gay mixed martial arts expert). More on me in the future. Mike (check the ambassadors section) and I (mostly Mike) started Flame and Flash, San Francisco’s Bay Area LGBT Climbing Club, after his trip to Homoclimbtastic ’09. And we have three things to share with the larger Homoclimbtastic audience; no, not our combined number of balls this time, but real news-worthy news:
Nick and Steven
So do you remember when you were a kid, and barbie was your hero? (Or GI Joe if you’re a top or a lesbian). I had that same feeling today. Twice.
Nick and Steven, two of our Flame and Flashers went to Cologne, Germany for the 8th Gay Games. They both competed in the Sport Climbing Competition and won Silver and Bronze respectively! That’s right, Flame and Flash has gay medalists (medalistSSSSS, that’s two motha fuckas, count’em) and we couldn’t be more proud. Well, I guess we could, but one of them will get gold next year, at which point we will be more proud. Either way, they trained their asses off, which in Nick’s case meant trying to quit drinking and making it almost a whole week, and in Steven’s meant going on National TV and dancing on a wall. These boys deserve our recognition, so next time you see them, give them a pat on the back, or a handjob, because they’ve earned it. Next year, I hope to see some of our ladies up on that podium!
Labor Day Weekend
As many of you know, Labor Day is approaching faster than the train that Nick and Steven are likely running on some Germans right now. And we, Flame and Flash along with LA’s LGBT climbing group, Top Out Rock Bottoms, are working our waxed asses off to bring you the most FlamingTop-and-FlashyBottom-Filled event ever!
So read up, show up, and bring a dress (or camo-cargo-shorts if your a lesbian). Post questions on the event wall, or email one of the event admins.
Finally, “You’re getting knee pads!” No wait, I mean tanks. Mike has designed, and WE have ordered (that’s right, I do shit too) our new Flame and Flash tanks! As if your swishy climbing style wasn’t enough, the next time you flash a hetro’s project, you won’t have to say shit, because the gayest tank top ever will practically scream “I’m here, I’m queer, and I flashed your goddamned project.” The tank might also ask said hetro to have sex with you, because these tanks have a mind of their own, and let’s face it, you wanted to ask but don’t have the balls.
And BTW, you’re all going to look damn sexy in them. What’s that you say? $15 each for a tank that will convert hetros? What a bargain! We’ll announce when we receive them, and we’ll bring them to our FnF meetings. If you believe in god, and he prevents you from coming to an FnF meeting, you can still get your hands on one by asking nicely. Supplies are limited, so suck it in!
I’m hard on, get me off.