Homo Climbtastic Dictator Abducted

We’ve received several emails and phone calls inquiring as to the whereabouts of HC’s most famous dictator, Alex Rowland (AKA:  Ra-Ra).  Seems the dearth of commentary on Georgia’s political turmoil hasn’t gone entirely unnoticed, and for your concern we’re all truly gratified.  Your prayers mean so much.

Rowland was abducted by a group of hillbillies (all of whom identify as dom tops) several weeks ago while climbing in the back-woods of Tennessee, though the ransom notes we’ve received (all dictated, not read, by Alex) have been very clear, no rescue requested.  We’re all hoping he’ll get his fill & comes back to civilization very soon, though personally I think the hill people have bitten off a tad more than they can chew with this one.  We here at Homo Cimbtastic headquarters (located in the world’s gayest bunker…you know, the one Lindsey Graham uses in case of emergency) are praying that Alex will wear them out eventually.  Well, either that, or Alex’s ass hair will finally start growing back in & they’ll return him out of pure need for a good wax job.

a picture left by Alex's abductors. Poor Alex. Poor, poor Alex.

So keep him in your prayers, light a candle, and hopefully we’ll be seeing more from him in the very near future.  And Alex, if you’re reading this, for Christ’s sake honey give those poor people a breather.

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