The Access Fund: Caught in politically correct hell, or ign’ant heteronormativity?

Given that I am the designer of the HC logo, which, as you may have noticed, is humping goats, you might suspect, correctly, that I am sensitive to the plight of those who might get caught up in a kind of “politically correct hell” in a world where everyone’s offended by something. As Amanda Marcotte wrote in regard to Nike’s “Gold Digger” t-shirt, a shirt which was attacked by some, shall we say, not so in-touch feminists:

One of Nike's Olympic shirts.

One of Nike’s Olympics shirts.

“The fact of the matter is that if you get any group of people together, some of them will have been at the end of the line when they were handing out senses of humor.”

The Nike t-shirt was an ironic turnabout on the meaning of “gold digger”; in the context of the Olympics, the terribly obvious meaning of the joke was that women were pursuing gold medals in athletics.

Given how obviously simple Nike’s irony was, you can imagine how much shit you get when your jokes are more complex and trample on much more nerve rattling issues.

I am also sensitive to getting booed down because, as people, we are simply not born knowing how or why things are offensive, because unless we’re a member of every distinguishable identity in the entire world, we’re not going to walk into the room knowing how not to be offensive. Is anyone born knowing that “Deaf” has a capital “d” and “blind” is spelled lowercase? Of course not. We learn most of these things by screwing them up and having someone else, hopefully, take the time out of their day to tell us how to do it in the future.

It also will not, or should not, for the reason I just stated, incite white hot rage. We judge these matters more based on what percentage of the population “know better.” There’s a much stronger sense of <facepalm> when Pat Robertson asks his black co-host, “is macaroni and cheese a black thing?” Does it incite rage? No. Is it hilarious? Yes. Is he in on it? No.

Ignorance is just that: ignorance. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you evil, it doesn’t mean you intended ill against blind, Deaf, macaroni and cheese-eating black people. You just seem out-of-touch, and pardon us if maybe we laugh at you. Plenty of other things can send us into the white-hot-rage zone, e.g. everything else Pat Robertson has ever said.

So with all that framework set up, take a look at the Access Fund’s valentine’s day sticker:

The Access Fund's Valentine's Day Sticker

The Access Fund’s Valentine’s Day Sticker

In smallish letters, italicized and in parentheses, it says, “Platonically, of course.”

That “platonically, of course” spawned an accompanying comment thread of critics and defenders, and a response from the Access Fund itself:

accessfundfacebookcomments

Christy’s full comment: I tend to think “I love you, man” is dude-bro-ish enough without adding the equivalent of “no homo” parenthetically below the statement. This statement is insidiously homophobic whether or not it was intentionally homophobic. There is, of course, nothing wrong with platonic love, as stated above, but the reason folks are so afraid of possibly having their intentions misunderstood by someone outside the relationship (because presumably, those within the relationship know what it is and isn’t) is that they don’t want to be mistaken for a homo.

So, let’s take a look at this through our “Nike t-shirt” lens, shall we? When you break the joke down, what does it mean?

Well, when I read it, I see two guys (and in the case of the other sticker, two girls) expressing that they love each other, and the humor of the joke turns on the climbing partners not being misunderstood to be gay. In other words, it’s funny because they’re making it crystal clear that they are not people like me.

Oh fuck.

There could be a parallel universe where the interpretation applies to all climbing partners (thus inclusive of the platonic boy-girl ones), but you’d have to ignore the fact that this is treading a very worn-down joke made many times before, that absolutely no one would find the other interpretation even remotely humorous, and that the only two stickers are boy-boy and girl-girl. Sorry Access Fund, but I see your explanation, and I raise you the reality that you’re re-imagining history. And the present. (Please don’t screw this up further by creating a boy-girl sticker.)

Now, I know that we all love the Access Fund, and we don’t want to think they can ever do any wrong, but let me just put it as straight to you as I can: we don’t like this joke. We encounter it on a very frequent basis. It wasn’t funny the first time. We know that it’s very funny to straight people, because you don’t want to be mistaken for gay, and thus joking about not wanting to be mistaken for gay is funny to you, but it’s very not funny for us.

Even if you follow the joke up with (as it often is) a “not that there’s anything wrong with being gay,” it doesn’t take the edge off, because even if the message isn’t that you personally would be ok with getting mistaken for gay, you’re still casually grinding salt into the wound that it’s something most straight people are afraid of, probably because the risks of it still include massive social alienation and murder. It was a jailable offense when I was in college, and it’s now illegal for me to get married, so… maybe my emotions on this subject are still a little raw.

Does this go any distance to explain to you why we DON’T want this sticker showing up in climbing gyms and on crag guard rails and climber car bumpers the world over, constantly reminding us that people don’t want to be mistaken for us, because heavens, maybe they would have to confront part of the alienation you get from ACTUALLY BEING US?

Access Fund answers with a rote “no offense intended” non-response response. The sine qua non of being ignorant is that you didn’t intend anything. You were ignorant–of course you didn’t intend it to be offensive.

The only thing you can do, at that point, is attempt to defend some alternative interpretation (say, if I were utterly off-base, as the Nike t-shirt critics were) or give an actual apology, which would go something like, “It was not intended to be offensive, but after looking at it, we realize that it actually IS offensive,” and if you’re feeling really charitable, explain why. You know what’s not intended to be offensive? Black-face. You know what is offensive? Black-face.

Quick lesson on apologies:

Do: “Sorry I did something offensive.”

Don’t: “Sorry you were offended.”

Otherwise, digging your heels in screws everyone over–it makes gay people and their allies look like over-sensitive assholes, and it forces everyone loyal to the Access Fund (which has provided many reasons to be loyal, by being a wonderful organization in so many other respects) to defend you even when you’re in the wrong, and in this case, jump on the “screw you hyper-sensitive gay people” bandwagon. And buy even MORE stickers, and give us even MORE reproductions of this tired, never funny in the first place joke.

Get Your Calendar Ready for Homoclimbtastic!

There is something that you need to know.

Queer climbers will be invading the New River Gorge in West Virginia again this summer…

…and it’s going… to be… AMAZING!!!!

boss approved time off for homoclimbtastic convention.  fuck yeah.

got time off work for the homoclimbtastic convention. fuck yeah.

SOOOOO… SAVE THE DATE!!  JULY 17-21, 2013

Write it on your calendar. In pen… and pink highlighter.  Write yourself a bunch of post-it notes. In sharpie.  Clear the time off with your boss.  Talk to your local queer climbing group about carpooling and/or flight options (it’s never too early).  Start saving up cash for the AAC climbing swag auction hosted by the fabulous Porsche Ferrari.  Start your training regimen.  Get ready… cause it’s going to be a blast!!

Check back soon for the registration form and all the other really important details that you’ll need to know.  It’s good stuff.

Finding gay community in a world of alcoholics

When I’m bored and horny and browsing gay internet profiles, nothing is a bigger groaner than the phrase, “not into the scene.”

I much prefer “no blacks, asians, or femmes” because I can at least have fun when they message me.

Me: “I’m actually black.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Ur photos don’t look like that.”

“It’s just the lighting.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Rlly?”

What I don’t understand is that they never buy it when I claim to be Asian. Anyway, I present this anecdote to you partly to make a point, and partly as an aside to say that the queeny blasians among you aren’t missing out. I’m pretty sure if you shake those guys’ heads, you can hear things rattling, but I’ve never let them come close enough.

Me: Probably not black.

Me: Probably not black.

But I’ve gotten myself distracted. I really hate all this “not into the scene” business, because I like the scene. I like drag shows. I have literally, as in actually, not metaphorically, seen hundreds of drag shows. When I visit a foreign city, I am more excited about seeing new drag queens than I am about large structures hundreds of years old. “Sure they can sculpt marble, but sculpting eight layers of MAC foundation? That’s art.”

This long-winded intro is necessary because otherwise I’d get lumped in with all the whiny-faces on OK Cupid if I just wrote another rant summarily saying “I’m better than you cause all y’all are a bunch of fucking alcoholics.”

* * *

I remember a time (college) when me and my friends went to a party and we had a few cups of hunch punch on Saturday night and danced around and “wooo!” or shot pool with three PBR’s because the drinking budget was $6. A few people, once detached from the rails of high school and a nuclear family, descended into oblivion, but for most, drinking to the point of vomiting was fodder for a story you weren’t planning to relive.

Keep your alcohol intake limited by sharing with friends. But do it in style with a fishbowl.

Keep your alcohol intake limited by sharing with friends. Do it in style with a fishbowl!

Now, things are different. People don’t vomit, not because they’re drinking less, but because they’re drinking more, a lot more, a lot more frequently, to the point that their tolerance allows them to kick back four, five, however many cocktails, and not remember the details the next day, and wash, rinse, repeat, at least two (four?) nights of the week, ad infinitum.

And THIS is Friday/Saturday night. The zenith of the gay career is getting abs at Lah Fitness, blacking out at a gay bar, going to parties with other young rich professionals, and maintenancing a zillion tenuous “friendships” like someone who feeds fish they don’t care about but can’t approach the finality of flushing. Throw in some shirtless photos on Lake Lanier and a few modeling shoots and you’ve made it! Go reward yourself with some coke.

The thing is, if people actually enjoyed this, I would be all for it. I would defend it in much the same way I defend legalizing pot. I enjoy getting drunk. I like sitting around playing video games for eight hours. I like doing a bad job singing.

But our collective relationship with alcohol has turned from an enjoyment of chocolate cake to something more like those morbidly obese people who get gastric bypass surgery and then suck microwaved Nutella through a straw. Or in this case, where going out used to be fun and an opportunity to have strange conversations with interesting new people, it’s turned into running into (redacted) totally shitfaced at Blake’s and pointing at me and shouting, “JARRETT’S ONLY TALKING TO YOU CAUSE YER CUTE OTherWISE HE WOULDN’T BE TALKING TO YOU.”

Jarrett: “If I were you, I would have punched him in the face.”

Me: “I save my amazing comeuppances for people who will remember them. Also I never think of them on the spot, I just come up with them later, and blog about them as if I actually said them.”

* * *

To some extent, it’s easy to say, “well if you don’t like us, then leave!” But I’m not saying I don’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I would have left already, and there are plenty of Facebook defriendings to prove it. There’s a whole world of reasons I didn’t leave before. Our legacy is built on hiding in bars because we had to, finding somewhere remote and dark was a necessity, upended by the occasional police raid–and our resistance to that trespass into what was once our only domain lives on, worldwide, notably in the date of Pride parades. To throw all that away, and swear off bars or anything reminiscent thereof, because we can’t drink without blacking out, would be throwing the baby out with the bathtub moonshine.

This is the delicate line I have fought to walk from the very beginning with HomoClimbtastic. It was meant to eschew the notion that as queer people we could only find community in the dark, but at every turn, I took a rhetorical cleaver to anyone suggesting that HC was proof that we weren’t stereotypes. It was proof that we were free, to carry on the culture we had built from centuries of oppression, and to cut away the baggage that came with it.

At times, what is baggage is a hard line to draw. But this time, it isn’t. We have a serious problem. People joke about their livers, like it’s funny, but it’s not. I see people I’ve known since college now look like they got run over by a truck, and using botox, aspirin regimens, two week diets, and marathon-running as though these could caulk over the cracks. I take several month sabbaticals from the Atlanta scene for work or climbing, and when I come back, I’m always surprised that someone I haven’t seen in a while looks… terrible. Whenever I go to the climbing campgrounds, I become accustomed to the climbers who take care of their bodies, and accustomed to what being in your thirties, forties, fifties should look like, and then I return to Atlanta, and the LA Fitness, where despite the ten million crunches, most of the people look like complete shit. Maybe this is why gay people are afraid of getting older–because in this mostly alcoholic enclave, it can certainly look terrifying.

Perhaps I’m only saying that as an appeal to everyone’s shallow sensibilities to discourage the excessive drinking… but that’s not really a good justification. The good justification is that you’re not actually enjoying your life. And you should. We fought too hard not to.

So this is my appeal: be the HomoClimbtastic you want to see in the world. You can create a social space where you do something else. Where you can carry on with your flamingly flaming self without the headaches and the vomiting.

Sometimes despite only one chocotini you still end up vomiting for several days because of the giardia you picked up elsewhere.

Sometimes despite only one chocotini you still end up vomiting for several days because of the giardia you picked up elsewhere. At least Rio was there to make fun of me.

* * *

And unfortunately, we have few venues to have this conversation–all of the weekly gay mags and rags and newspapers get most of their advertising budgets from booze companies and bars, and they get pilloried when they ever dare step on the toes of their sponsors. The articles about our pervasive alcoholism, and the jokey non-chalance with which we approach it, have to thus be sanitized to a patronizing pablum of obvious “don’t drink and drive” and “seek treatment if you need help” because bar owners can’t face that their current economic model depends on customers funneling their lives down a drain.

Normally, I’m all for the free market, but some Atlanta bar owners’ atrocious bullying to keep themselves the centerpiece of Atlanta Pride leaves me without sympathy. Summary, if you don’t read the link, after the Atlanta Pride organizer (literally one person, in charge of an event attended by, oh, a million people), didn’t personally visit one bar owner to request a donation, the bar owner made the totally-not-intended-to-be-ironic proclamation at a public hearing, “I am sorry, but hearing that it is too hard to contact 21 bars? A postcard? You send a postcard to an unimportant relative.” If I was present at that meeting, I would have shouted, “Do you know who I am?” and laughed heartily, but sadly, I was out of town, and again, I probably wouldn’t have thought of it on the spot and just would have blogged about it as if I actually had.

Anyway, since the HC blog has no advertisers, I can be more frank than the more established outlets are allowed to be. If you’re drinking three or more stiff cocktails, YOU are one of the people with a problem. By the end, you’re boring, or annoying, or an asshole, and either nobody’s willing to tell you, or your friends are likewise too drunk to notice, and the claim that you had a great time last night is a dull rationalization because it’s hard to face that despite the cost, you didn’t have that good a time. And yes, a lot of you are you are my friends, and I care about you deeply, but when you’re not sober, frequently I want to shiv you.

To the rest of you, I say: you are not alone. HomoClimbtastic began as five people–and it would be an awful, awful, awful (awful!) thing if I had drank too much to remember what happened after returning from that bar in Charleston–those are the memories my memory care experts at the nursing home will be reciting to me as I proceed into dementia. (“Tell me again about the part with the bubble wrap!”)

I may not remember my children's names, but I'll remember this.

I may not remember my children’s names, but I’ll remember this.

That group of five ended up burning a swath several hundred people wide of people who found community in what makes them happy, carrying the legacies that brought us together and escaping the traps that hold us collectively down–and it’s impossible not to see that one of the most notable traps, and one that people have consistently expressed their happiness in leaving behind in regard to HC, is the massive amounts of binging  seen elsewhere.

Outside of HC, and for the rest of our community, leaving that behind is an obvious future. I’m just anxious to see it sooner than later.

Mass Murdering Middle Class White People

The last time I wrote about feminism, I ever so slightly critiqued Eve Ensler, for perhaps going wide of the mark, but I’m going to take a much heavier bat to Sikivu Hutchinson’s recent article, “Nice White Boys Next Door and Mass Murder”, which I saw cause Meen Dee (aka Mindy) put it on her facebook wall, which is the only way any of this is relevant to HomoClimbtastic. If you feel raw about how irrelevant my posts are, know that I’ve already written five thousand words worth of posts about climbing, but just haven’t edited them for publication yet. I have to edit climbing posts so I don’t fuck them up. I can fuck up political posts all day long. Everyone else does. Why shouldn’t I?

Anyway, Hutchinson, conceivably, is simply being meta, that is, turning the “black people are violent” stereotype on its head by using white people’s tendency to go mass murdering to support the argument that “white people are violent.” Ah ha! That’s what it feels like! We’ll all stop saying that now!

In her defense, most of the article is excellent–she rightly observes that white people’s shockingly violent acts are viewed as “symptomatic of a potentially imperiled national heritage.” Actually, that phrasing is amazing. You go, Sikivu Hutchinson. You get a pass on the patronizing meta section in this article and in your next three blog posts, if you choose to use them.

Still, the concluding line saying that the shootings “will not prompt analysis of the violent masculinity at the heart of whiteness” goes sooooooooo wide of the mark that I’m going to spend an evening hacking it to pieces. Why she said this confounds me–near the top of the article, she describes these killers as coming from “lower to upper middle class nuclear families” which “forever shattered white suburbia’s veneer of normalcy.”

The phrase “middle class” should have set off alarm bells, especially given its sharp contrast to the (cynical, I know, but just trust me for a minute here) sense of community you sometimes acquire as a result of being oppressed, which she discusses in regard to people of color. As gay and queer people… we know this. For all the shit that’s happened to us, and as much as I wish it never happened, there are great things that have sprung from our collective march to defend ourselves. You can be savagely beaten, kicked out of your home, any number of horrible things, and there’s still some cadre at the end of the Snagglepuss rainbow who will help you off your broke ass. And even if not, it’s present, in the media, that there’s a place for you.

There is no place for the white middle class. In my own personal life, and in my perception of politics and the way they vote, they are the group I fear most. They are oppressed, but with no recognition of their oppression. They are the greatest pawns in the greatest swindle on Earth.

We keep our guns, you foreclose on our house. Deal? Deal.

I didn’t really get it, and I didn’t really understand my own privilege, until I read that Dylan Klebold had to work a job while he was in school. That’s how out of touch I am with what it’s like not to come from money. When I had a shitty day at school, I could come home, play video games, shoot up video game characters, and that was it. No job required. And college to look forward to. Or whatever. I could do anything. The future was bright. No mutilation of neighborhood animals.

And to further hammer this point home, I did end up getting a job while I was in school. Turns out sometimes your family, your church, and most of your friends sometimes don’t want you around anymore when they find out you like cock, and I had to go! But, ultimately, there was a place for me. There’s no place for them.

We sometimes hear, and have a knee-jerk reaction to, people wondering aloud why, if black people have clubs for black people, and gay clubs for gay people, how is that different from hypothetical clubs for white or straight people. And we snap right back, “well it’s because you don’t come from a long history of oppression.” And some other stuff. You’ve said it before.

But when it comes to white heterosexual people who aren’t, well, upper class, and I mean upper class as in upper class, not new money, there’s kind of sort of the problem that… they are oppressed. And have been, for a long time. Think of the era when factories issued “credits” instead of actual dollars, the working conditions of city factories in the early 20th century, and so on, through American history, to and fro. A 9-5 work week, two weeks of vacation a year. That’s their idea of success! Looking at that life seems like hell, and the even bigger hell, is that almost everyone else will make you feel guilty for complaining about it. I can always spot someone who’s middle class (not upper, not lower) when they feel like that’s the life they deserve, and they would be lazy bums if they (or anyone else) doesn’t want to work that 9-5 (or more). That delusion is the only reason they haven’t yet fleeced the upper class out of their tax dollars for a European two-month vacation and socialized healthcare, and why they’ll happily sell the lower class up the river for not wanting to work 9-5 fifty weeks a year (those lazy bums!), which lower class people don’t want to do, because they’re not crazy, nor have they been manipulated into thinking that’s “the good life”. If they do it, it’s because they have kids to feed, or rent to pay, and they will literally phrase it this way in conversation. Middle class people will phrase it differently: “They have a salaried position, they shouldn’t complain!” Poor people and rich people feel the same way about money. They want a lot of it. And a pool. And the less work required to get it, the better. (By the way, if you find yourself saying that you’re upper class and you had to work your ass off, and upon further reflection, realize this is true, then you’ve just put yourself outside of the very definition of what it means to be upper class. This may be hard to accept at first.)

These are American values, this is an American problem, and this is an American symptom. In a world that gives you no control, and has mindfucked you into believing you don’t deserve control, the only thing to reach for is a copy of Fight Club. Or if you’re a few more cards short of a full deck, a gun. If they knew how much vacation time we took off a year, they would probably be going all French Revolution on us, which makes me wonder why we didn’t give them all cats or something instead, but I guess guns actually make people feel like they have power over the government.

As evidence, because I don’t believe in making arguments without cold, hard, statistical evidence, review the following:

(If you don’t feel like skipping to 0:40, Dolly Parton says as follows: “Look, I got a gun out there in my purse, and up to now I’ve been forgiving and forgetting because of the way I was brought up but I’ll tell you one thing, if you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I’m gonna get that gun of mine, and change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!” I posit that her consortium with other women is the only reason she didn’t follow through with it.)

In any event, we’ve learned not to say “let them eat cake!” but rather let a few people on Fox News tell the masses we had to work 24/7 to get where we are today (we didn’t), and the rest of us keep our goddamn mouths shut. Maybe I should too. I like my money.

Unfortunately, the answer to gun violence in general is not nearly as pat–mass murders make up only a tiny fraction of gun violence. Focusing on them probably isn’t worth our time. But if you’re wondering what drives these particular people over the edge, I would just imagine a place where you’re just as (or much more) oppressed than you are now, but surrounded by people telling you that you should be thankful for everything you have. Because if that isn’t the reason, we’re going to have to come up with some reason applicable only to middle class white people, because video games, violent song lyrics, and shitty parents are pretty universal.

Admittedly, this is not my fight, and I don’t care that much. But as oppressed minorities… I’m not going to scapegoat middle class white people. Not without wearing kevlar, anyway. Those mother fuckers are crazy.

HomoClimbtastic: Now famous in Denmark

HC was featured in the Danish magazine Homotropolis. You can view the full issue here.

My brother lives in Sweden. By Sarah Palin standards, Denmark is in his living room.

I think this article is proof that the new way forward for HC is for me and Kelly to write blog posts, have them professionally translated into Danish, and then Google Translate them back into English.

I’m not sure how I feel that the Google Translation of what we’re saying is funnier than anything we’ve originally said in English when we were trying to be funny on purpose, but who am I to deny advances in technology?  Thus, I present to you the Google translation of the article:

A feeling of being the only gay in the world with an interest in climbing gave Alex Rowland idea for ‘HomoClimbtastic’ – a spacious association that aims to lead climb lustful LGBTQ’er together. The club is today both incredibly popular and respected, and the reason lies in the culture that we have managed to create.

“Although we are most LGBTQ’er, so the door is open to all. It turns out that many heterosexuals are at least as interested in stepping out of the hetero-sexist culture we are. And it’s not so much that they want to be with us because we are queer, but more about that we all have in common that we appreciate diversity, “says founder Alex Rowland.

Talking more about dick than other climbing clubs Kelly Gray, a climber from Austin, Texas who has been with the ‘HomoClimbtastic’ for several years, says that one of the benefits of being part of a LGBTQ club just the freedom to be themselves .

“We talk a lot more about dick here than they do in the other clubs. Both cock, wax treatments, the lesbian scissors, gay movies and drag queens come regularly to the court and it would never talk about in a ‘regular’ climbing club ‘.

“To climb with an LGBTQ group means that I can be myself all the way through. I do not hide my sexuality or worry about whether I get thrown somewhere back in the face because I talk about my husband, “said Kelly Gray.

Both the heart and brain are

Regardless common denominators as sexual orientation, gender identity and queerness, it’s rock climbing that binds members ‘HomoClimbtastic’ together.
The hearts banks of the great moments in the company of nature’s self-created challenges. It’s all about unique experiences seen from angles that only those people ever, and so challenging at the same time the brain.

“It requires full brain activity and a really intense focus when you have to figure out how best to forcing a cliff,” says Alex Rowland, whose
most unforgettable experience with climbing is at least as much about romance.

“My guy and I was in New Zealand, where we hired a boat to take us out of this one small, secluded bay with instructions to pick us up again exactly the same place 48 hours later. We steamed mussels, was naked and read books, climbed part and had more sex in two days than I thought was humanly possible. It was really amazing times, “recalls Alex, who normally works as a lawyer and lives in a small town in the state of Georgia.

For Kelly Gray is rock climbing also to see the world from new angles:

“I love to dwell outdoors, I love the equipment, and I love how a climber will be able to see amazing places from a completely different perspective. Yosemite National Park in California look, for example, much more spectacular from a high rock face than it does from hiking trails. As a climber you get the opportunity to see the world in a different way. “

And the Danish original:
En følelse af at være den eneste homo i verden med interesse for klatring gav Alex Rowland idéen til ‘HomoClimbtastic’ – en rummelig forening der har til formål at føre klatrelystne LGBTQ’er sammen. Klubben er i dag både utrolig populær og respekteret, og årsagen skal findes i den kultur, som det er lykkedes at skabe.

»Selv om vi er flest LGBTQ’er, så står døren åben for alle. Det viser sig nemlig, at rigtig mange heteroseksuelle er mindst lige så interesserede i at træde ud af den heterosexistiske kultur, som vi selv er. Og det handler ikke så meget om, at de ønsker at være sammen med os, fordi vi er queer, men mere om at vi allesammen har det til fælles, at vi værdsætter forskelligheder«, siger stifteren Alex Rowland.

Taler mere om pik end andre klatreklubber Kelly Gray, en klatrer fra Austin i Texas som har været med i ‘HomoClimbtastic’ i adskillige år, fortæller at en af fordelene ved at være med i en LGBTQ-klub netop er friheden til at være sig selv.

»Vi taler en hel del mere om pik her, end man gør i de andre klubber. Både pik, voksbehandlinger, den lesbiske saks, homofilm og dragdronninger kommer jævnligt på banen, og det ville man jo aldrig snakke om i en ‘almindelig’ klatreklub«.

»At klatre sammen med en LGBTQ-gruppe betyder, at jeg kan være mig selv hele vejen igennem. Jeg behøver ikke lægge skjul på min seksualitet eller bekymre mig om, hvorvidt jeg får smidt et eller andet tilbage i ansigtet, fordi jeg taler om min mand«, siger Kelly Gray.

Både hjertet og hjernen er med

Uanset fællesnævnere som seksuel orientering, kønsidentitet og queerness, så er det klippeklatring der binder medlemmerne i ‘HomoClimbtastic’ sammen.
Hjerterne banker for de storslåede øjeblikke i selskab med naturens selvskabte udfordringer. Det handler om unikke oplevelser set fra vinkler der kun er de færreste forundt, og så udfordrer det samtidig hjernen.

»Det kræver fuld hjerneaktivitet og et virkelig intenst fokus, når man skal regne ud, hvordan man bedst muligt forcerer en klippe«, fortæller Alex Rowland, hvis
mest uforglemmelige oplevelse med klatring handler mindst lige så meget om romantik.

»Min fyr og jeg var på New Zealand, hvor vi hyrede en båd til at sejle os ud til denne her lille, afsidesliggende  bugt med instruktioner om at hente os igen nøjagtig samme sted 48 timer senere. Vi dampede muslinger, lå nøgne og læste bøger, klatrede en del og havde mere sex på to døgn end jeg troede var menneskeligt muligt. Det var virkelig fantastiske tider«, mindes Alex, der til daglig arbejder som advokat og bor i en mindre by i staten Georgia.

For Kelly Gray handler klippeklatring også om at se verden fra nye vinkler:

»Jeg elsker at opholde mig udendørs, jeg elsker udstyret, og jeg elsker hvordan man som klatrer får mulighed for at se fantastiske steder fra et helt andet perspektiv. Yosemite National Park i Californien ser for eksempel meget mere spektakulær ud fra en høj klippeside, end den gør fra vandrestierne. Som klatrer får man mulighed for at se verden på en anden måde«.

On Mentoring (or, “Who is Craig Pack?”)

I was prompted to write this blog (updated for factual accuracy) after several friends asked me recently who Craig Pack is.  My answer is about five years late (for which I apologize to Craig), but perhaps it will shed some more light on the history of homo climbing and the importance of mentoring in the gay climbing community.  Thanks for reading!  — Todd

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to create and sustain an intergenerational community of queer climbers who learn from one another, share experiences, and become responsible for passing knowledge down to others.  For me (as with Erik Carlson and many other climbers in the San Francisco bay area), our climbing “careers” started with Craig Pack.

I started climbing sometime in 1998, and it was shortly thereafter (probably early 2000) that I first met Craig at the Mission Cliffs climbing gym in San Francisco.  Craig grew up in Fresno, California, a short drive from the Yosemite valley, where he learned to climb as a kid from the masters.  But it wasn’t the most welcoming place for gay people, and he experienced tremendous bigotry, some within the climbing community itself. When I met Craig, he was splitting his time between San Francisco and Truckee, near Donner Summit in Lake Tahoe.

Craig had been climbing for decades and had scaled miles upon miles of vertical terrain.  For Craig, climbing was as natural as walking, and anyone who climbed with Craig was always amazed that he seemed to walk up unprotected, slabby, vertical faces (in Joshua Tree, in Yosemite, in Tahoe, in Tuolumne), as if he was on level ground.  He was never flustered when climbing; his legs never shook; he just stepped with elegance, regardless of whether or not there was protection.  I would call it the grace of a dancer who just intuits where to step and how to move.

As I would later find out, Craig was not only one of the founding leaders of Stonewall Climbers (purportedly “Earth’s first lesbian, gay, and bisexual climbing club”), but he also won the gold at the Gay Games in Amsterdam in 1998.  He had established climbs in the Needles and the Sierras, with several first ascents and many seconds under his belt.  Shortly after we met, he taught me how to lead climb and helped me get (quite modestly!) “lead certified” at the gym.  I wasn’t the only one that he mentored.  There was easily a half-dozen or more gay climbers that Craig was patiently training, not to mention a network of LGBT climbers across north America with whom he climbed.  In the early 2000s, we began making multi-day climbing trips all over California and Nevada, mostly climbing trad (and mostly me following).  He was a generous and extraordinarily patient leader.  He taught me how to build and equalize anchors, how to place and remove gear, how to climb multi-pitch, and how to read routes and understand sequences.  He also trusted me to catch his falls (which rarely happened).  Although perhaps one of the easier routes we did together, the Regular Route on Fairview Dome in Tuolumne Meadows is one of my most memorable: At nearly 1,000 feet, the climb starts with a 5.9 crack, before culminating in a stemming sequence leading to a four-foot roof, and topping out on large flakes and ledgy features.  It’s widely considered one of the 50 best climbs in North America.  As I got stronger, we started doing more sport climbing, pushing and inspiring each other.  We climbed in Joshua Tree, Donner Summit, Lover’s Leap, Big Chief, Red Rocks, Bishop, the high Sierras, and many other places.  He not only taught me how to climb, but he also taught me (perhaps without consciously knowing it) how to teach others to climb.  In essence, he taught me to share the love, experience, and knowledge of climbing with others.

Five years ago this October, Craig was climbing alone in Donner Summit when he slipped, falling to the ground.  He was found hours later (thankfully his cell phone worked), with two shattered ankles, head trauma, and massive disc compression in his back.  He had to wear a mobility-limiting “turtle cast” for months and later, when the cast came off, he hauled his decimated body up and down the stairs in his house by his hands.  Full of pins and metal plates, both ankles became infected and required numerous surgeries.  The road to recovery has been unimaginably long and arduous.

Many people shake their heads when I bring up the issue of soloing, muttering things like ‘how can you be so crazy/stupid?’ or ‘I would never free solo’ (as if roped climbing will keep you 100% safe).  Craig had bouldered alone and soloed countless times before.  He was on his home terrain, climbing well within his ability, although the weather conditions were hardly ideal.  He wasn’t, comparatively speaking, that far off the ground (I remember how, to my astonishment, he free soloed the first 70 foot pitch of Prince of Darkness in Red Rocks, belayed me up, then lowered to get his jacket, and soloed it again).  I truly believe that soloing is right—and even sane and meaningful—for some people.  Craig climbed with such grace that “protection” was, perhaps, intended for others, like me, who over-thought climbing, who hesitated, whose feet fumbled and whose hands clenched the rock too tightly.  Every once in a while, when I stop thinking and simply climb, I embody—if only for a moment—that grace and elegance of movement that defined Craig’s style.

Since his accident, I find myself wanting to share climbing with other gay climbers by helping to create a community of people, who will, in turn, mentor other young climbers. In its best sense, mentoring is not one-directional, but rather a recursive relationship, in which the seasoned climber both shares his or her wealth of experience with others and is open to learning new things from (and approaching new challenges with) lesser experienced climbers.  After Craig’s accident, I felt a strange emptiness, but I also realized that my own role in the climbing community was changing – and that, perhaps, like Craig, I could give something back by sharing the knowledge, enthusiasm, and experiences that he shared with me.

In climbing, we are all somewhere along the shifting continuum of mentors and mentees.  Every mentor has something to learn from others and has something to teach.  And every mentee has something to teach and also has something to learn.  Sometimes our primary roles reverse themselves, unexpectedly, as mine did after Craig’s accident.  These interactions and relationships of teaching one another through respect and caring are what constitute a climbing community.  It’s something that I find to be the most compelling part of participating in Homo Climbtastic.  And I would be remiss if I didn’t add, as I’m sure Craig would appreciate, the unending stream of eye-candy is a nice touch, too.

Goddamn you, Tyler Wilcutt

Tyler on something probably insanely hard. You know it’s the South cause we all boulder in jeans.

As you may or may not know, Tyler Wilcutt and I are locked into a death battle over who can throw a better rock climbing fundraiser.  Action Fund, or HomoClimbtastic?  We at HomoClimbtastic thought we had set the bar high, at least, high enough that we could rest on the laurels of drag queen Porsche Ferrari, Giant Lube Twister, “I invented the aid hook” Jamie Logan, and “I carry fresh blueberries up my trad thirteens cause I like antioxidants” Mad Sorkin.  For a year anyway.

Not so!

Tyler’s HP40 fundraiser, which used to be just a happy happy fun times dance party with Solo cups, NOW HAS A 200 FOOT SLIP N’ SLIDE.  Comprehend the length of this for a moment.  When you take 50 foot whippers, you still have time to contemplate to yourself quickly, “Am I going to die? Have I truly lived?”  Now, you might not necessarily be provoked to consider those particular questions while shit-faced and lubed up and sliding every which way into the other boulderers, including Lisa Rands, but you’ll have 200 feet to think about whatever it is.

Wheeee!

It’s the weekend of SEPTEMBER 22nd, 2012, in Steele, Alabama.  The Facebook event page is at http://www.facebook.com/events/451737894860934/  The web site is at http://slopenslide.blogspot.com/ .

Hope you can make it.